My Perfectionism is Unglued

"Are you good at gluing?"

This is a real question asked to me by one of my JTEs (Japanese Teacher of English) this week. I offered to help her glue the covers onto the songbooks she had copied for the 9th grade teachers (including me! Yaaay!) to use when we sang at the Farewell Assembly for the 9th graders, who are graduating next week. I wanted to believe that this question was a joke.....but I didn't really think it was. Despite it being a serious question, I couldn't think of a serious way to respond. All I came up with was an out-loud-laugh and a sarcastic, "Yes, I'm an expert at it." ;D I mean, seriously!! Are you kidding me?!?! AM I GOOD AT GLUING??? Do you think I'm an idiot? Apparently. Do you have any idea about my life? I am a trained teacher. I moved halfway around the world by myself. I live in a foreign culture where everything is complicated and hard to understand. Do you have any idea what I did to get this job? I completed a quarter-inch thick application-- including essays, recommendation letters, transcripts, fingerprints, a background check by the FBI-- in triplicate. I was interviewed intensely by a panel at the Japanese consulate who asked me everything from how I feel about women's rights...and how I'd feel about being asked to serve tea...to how I'd adjust to the role of assisting teachers in their classrooms when I was accustomed to being an independent teacher in my own classroom...how I'd introduce myself to students in simple English...and how I'd explain American foreign policy to Japanese high school students with limited English ability. I was all of a sudden confronted with one of the interviewers speaking Japanese to me-- Japanese that I didn't understand. But nowhere in that insanely long screening and selection process was I ever asked, "Are you good at gluing?"

Like I mentioned in my previous post, this experience in Japan has helped me recognize my own culture. And I think it is actually one of the best things about this whole experience-- partly because it was so unexpected...and partly because this overarching knowledge will affect the rest of my life. I mean, I came to Japan expecting to learn about Japanese culture and Japanese people's ways of doing things, but it has come as a really big surprise to me that I've learned so much about American culture and myself. A great surprise! =)

And in the case of Ms. AreYouGoodAtGluing-- a terrible surprise. ;[ This is a teacher who is an eXtReMe perfectionist. (Except of course when it comes to creating worksheets with awkward and wrong English and THEN asking me to check them 5 minutes before class, and when I point out 2 or 3 of the several English problems, responding with, "Well, I've already copied them, so I can't change it." When I dare to point out one more serious error that shouldn't be presented to students on a worksheet, she says, defensively, "Okay, that's enough.") Anyways, back to the point. This is a teacher who thinks that her way of doing things is the right way and that no one else can do as good of a job as her. So even if I am good at gluing, if it's not her way of gluing, it's not acceptable. We recently started a point card system where kids can earn stamps on their point card if they answer questions in class or initiate English conversation outside of class. She was really reluctant to allow me to stamp kids' cards instead of telling her who initiated English conversation so she could stamp their cards. Sometimes I do stamp their cards, but if she's around I'm a bit nervous about it. (!!!) Tolerating such condescending, micromanaging, I-can't-trust-you-with-anything treatment from her for the past 2 years has been terrible! Being a semi-perfectionist, like-to-have-things-done-my-way, excessively-attentive-to-inconsequential-details-person myself, I can relate to this teacher. THIS is terrible...to realize that I have been guilty of making other people feel as terrible as she makes me feel. UGH!! Working with her and being on the other side of the situation has been like a mirror reflecting the light back to the base of my light house (see post from Feb. 9). It makes me want to abandon my tendency toward very specific expectations and give people the trust and freedom to do things their way, even if it's not my way. Even though I REALLY like details to be attended to in certain ways ;D I REALLY, REALLY never want to make anyone feel like this perfectionist makes me feel. Although this isn't a lesson in American culture, it is a valuable lesson about myself...and I'm thankful for the experience.

Did you know...?

On my bulletin board at school I have a section called "Did you know?" where I post facts about American jr. high, American holidays, etc. that I figure most Japanese jr. high kids and teachers don't really know. From time to time, it occurs to me that there are random things about Japan that most Americans don't know. For example, did you know that Japanese toilet paper isn't perforated?

Did you know that most public restrooms don't have hot running water?

Did you know that in most prefectures all elementary and jr. high kids AND teachers eat school lunch every day?

Did you know that before lunch is served, the principal has to go to the kitchen and eat his/her lunch first to taste-test it? [I just found out about this last week!! I always wondered where my principal went every day before lunch. HA!]

Did you know that during the summer when it's really hot, the regular size milk cartons that we usually get with school lunch are sometimes replaced by extra large cartons of milk to help quench thirst? (!!?? Seriously, who wants to drink more milk on a hot day??)

Did you know that Japanese people don't really drink water much? (They drink green tea.)

Did you know that a lot of jr. high teachers wear sneakers for their indoor shoes at school even when they're wearing suits? (??!! On that note-- a side story--> One day at the beginning of last year I saw one of the new teachers wearing Crocs with his suit, and I thought, 'Oh, that looks nice!' And then I thought, 'Something is seriously wrong with the fashion here if wearing Crocs with a suit seems "nice"'!!) :P

Next, did you know that in jr. high, attendance is taken by teachers with clipboards and class lists checking the shoe cubbies at the school entrance to see which kids haven't changed from their outdoor shoes to their indoor shoes (indicating that they haven't arrived at school)? (You can see that #20 in class 3-4-- fourth from the top, second from the right-- wasn't at school the morning I took this picture...because his/her indoor shoes are still in the cubby.)

Did you know that you can't take leftover food home from most restaurants?

Did you know that at restaurants you usually only get one menu to share between everyone at the table?

Did you know that you're expected to be quiet (as in, not talk) on trains?

This list is turning out to be longer than I planned, and I could keep going...but it's dinner time. So I'll save others for another post. Hope you learned something new!

The base of the lighthouse is the darkest.

Yesterday on her way past my desk and out of the staff room to go to the weekly staff meeting (which I don't attend), 荒木先生 Araki Sensei said-- in her endearing way-- "Mya, bye." = ) Then 藤井先生 Fujii Sensei followed and raised her hand in a dramatic wave and proudly busted out the three words of English she knows, "See you again!" This was the happiest moment of my day. I had actually had a good day with many happy moments, but this surpassed them. To be called by name...to be addressed by someone who doesn't have a specific need to talk to me, but does anyway...these are the makings of a happy moment. It reminded me of my trip home during Christmas...and that I still haven't written about it.

Each time I go home-- to the States-- I notice something different...things I never noticed when I lived there...things for which I previously had no lens of comparison through which I could see them. At one of the first training seminars I went to soon after arriving in Japan the keynote speaker said, "The base of the lighthouse is darkest." At the time, I considered it for a moment and thought it was kinda interesting...kinda. Now, 2 1/2 years later, after having gone back and forth between Japanese life/culture and American life/culture several times, I'm blown away by the reality of this comparison. My experience in Japan can now light the base of the lighthouse of my American life experience. This past trip home the thing that stood out to me most was HOW FRIENDLY AMERICANS ARE!!! I mean, seriously! I was really in disbelief! えっ！　アメリカ人はいつもこんなにフレンドリーだったん？！ Woah! Have Americans always been this friendly?!

I went to the dentist-- a new dentist, whose office I'd never been to before-- on Friday, the day after I arrived in the States. Then I had to go back on Monday for a follow-up visit. When I walked into the dentist office Monday morning, the receptionist immediately beamed, "Hi Mya! How was your weekend?" !!! "Hi Mya...How was your weekend?"...!!???! NO ONE EVER says that to me! (Well, actually...two of my closest friends here, Matsumura San and Shiyo, both of whom have lived in the States, do ask me.) Within a few minutes the dental office staff knew more about me than the people I work with and sit next to in my Japanese school staff room EVERY DAY. Crazy! I was soooo happy! This was THE BEST way to start off my time at home in the States. It was a striking reawakening of my senses to the friendliness and openness of Americans.

When I went to the bank to exchange my ￥ for $, both tellers who helped me asked right away if I had come from Japan...how long I've been here...what it's like to be in Japan...if the shopping is good...what I do here...if I can speak Japanese. "Wow! That must be so exciting!" they said. One of them told me all about the experience she and her husband had when they lived overseas many years ago. I thought to myself: 'Personal interactions like this would never happen in a Japanese bank.' (Although, if I-- a blond foreigner-- initiated such conversations with Japanese bank staff, they may go along with it. If they're extremely friendly by Japanese standards, they'll think of a question to ask in response to me initiating a conversation.)

As my dad and I were walking out of the bank my dad said, "Hi", to a lady we passed. I knew he didn't know her. Well...I thought he probably didn't know her....But....he just said, "Hi", to her...it seems like he must know her...no I'm sure he doesn't...my dad's just friendly...but, REALLY? I couldn't completely convince myself and fight off the temptation to ask, "Do you know her?" Of course the answer was, "No". Of course, but still hard to believe. Americans say, "Hi", to people they don't know. Again, Japanese strangers greet me-- a blond foreigner who gives them a chance to put to use the English words they remember from jr. high-- but I don't think they ever do this with each other. And unless they're obaasans or ojiisans (around retirement age or older), according to my Japanese teacher, they probably think I'm strange if I greet them first.

I love when Araki Sensei talks to me. She uses a few words of English, and I can tell she's happy to connect with me. She'll never know how much of an impact those few words and her smile have on me-- an American working in Japan...the only American in our school-- surrounded by 580 Japanese staff and students every day.

Some thoughts on education...continued...

Continuing from November 26th...the story I really wanted to tell was about the ridiculous rigidity of the test-focused education system and how it often affects English students (which includes all jr. high students). I'd heard multiple stories from Japanese friends describing the same scenario I'm about to describe, and I was always baffled in disbelief. But when I actually experienced it myself, it was SO appalling and frustrating. It really makes me wonder how this place stays in business. Well, I guess as long as they stay in the testing business, they'll come out on top.

The day the 8th grade English mid-term was handed back, I stopped one of my students, Ken, in the hall and asked him how his test was. He said, "I hate Japanese English." At the beginning of this school year, Ken and his family moved back from Washington, where they had spent about 2 years. Having gone to American school and learning English as a Second Language-- as opposed to English as a Foreign Language, as kids in Japanese schools do-- Ken speaks and writes English naturally. Better than the English teachers. Much better. He shouldn't even have to take the standard English class but there isn't a differentiated (leveled) program, so there's no other class he can take. Poor kid! When I ask him what he means by saying that he hates Japanese English, he shows me one of his test questions that was marked wrong, but that he believes is actually correct. Aah, "I hate Japanese English" means 'I hate English that is awkward and rigid and used to pass tests, not to communicate.' We had recently studied map/directional related words, like: right, left, beside. On the test, students were supposed to write the Japanese word that means "across". Ken's answer was marked wrong because he had written the Japanese word that indicates being diagonally across, rather than the word that means directly across. Although the word catty-corner/kitty-corner exists, it's not like we use it all that often...AND the word "across" could obviously be used to describe something that is catty-corner to something else. I tell Ken that I agree that his answer is correct. He has already talked to the Japanese English teacher about it, but she disagreed. He asks me, "Can you talk to her and get me some points?" / "Yes!" I respond with determination-- hearing the words of Roy, my principal in America, resound in my head: "We do what's best for kids"...while, in the same instant, recognizing that I'm not at Antelope Trails anymore, and these words that I believe with all my heart aren't so easily carried out here. Of course I will go advocate for Ken. But I'm afraid. I shouldn't have to fight this hard with other teachers (!!) to do what's best for kids...but I do. I do have to fight hard because this is a system that is about test scores more than it is about kids as individuals. To people outside this system, this probably all sounds pretty dramatic for something as inconsequential as "across" vs. "catty-corner", but it's not just about this incident. It's about this system that creates this incident again and again in school after school, sending the message to kids that what matters is thousands of memorized words and formulaic, right vs. wrong English on written tests-- not using English as a tool for communicating with people and understanding media. So, I take a deep breath, put on my game face, and go into the staff room and approach Ken's English teacher. I try to be confident inside, while showing humility in my approach. I am on the low rung of the ancient ladder of Japanese school hierarchy. Despite being a native speaker (the only one in my school) and a trained, licensed teacher, with an educational emphasis in ESL (English as a Second Language), my knowledge (I'm not saying I'm an expert or anything!) and opinions have no bearing in this system. I'm abandoning my post on the bottom rung by approaching this veteran Japanese English teacher to question her decision to count a correct answer wrong. (Even now, a month and a half later, just thinking and writing about it makes me sigh with tension.) I use my gentlest, indirect English to bring up the issue with her. She explains that the word Ken wrote means diagonally across, not across. I listen and use my Japanese listening sounds and pause and then finally say that I think (ha! "I think") in English, "diagonal" can also be expressed using "across". She says, with firm frustration in her voice and countenance, "I know". "But in the textbook it says..." "We taught [this meaning]."

Are you kidding me?!?! You are counting this proficient English speaker's correct answer wrong because he didn't write the answer that you taught from the textbook??!! RI-DICULOUS! And even though he knows he can use English-- which is what matters-- he's now in this system where test points matter, so he's distraught over those missed points. I have to go back to Ken and say that I'm very sorry but the teacher won't give him credit for that answer. I try to reassure him that what is important is that he can speak English; at the same time, I acknowledge that I realize that as a student those points matter to him. I try to encourage him by pointing out that in the course of his academic career-- intense as the Japanese jr. high career is-- those few points won't make a difference. I just don't get this teacher's kind of thinking at all. I don't think she's a bad teacher either. She explains grammar clearly and tries to make learning engaging. But this prevalent philosophy of only accepting the answers "we taught" is a crime.

Thank you God for such a great day!...continued...

The other great things about Wednesday (Ha! "other"-- as though saying "goukan" instead of "gouka" (as I described in my previous post) can be called a great thing!) were: that I had several LONG, interesting, meaningful conversations with teachers... 岡田先生　Okada Sensei-- who I wish could be my father-in-law-- and I, along with 前川さん　Maekawa San sometimes joining in, talked about the difference between priests and pastors, Protestant and Catholic beliefs, God's grace and His love that doesn't have to be earned, the history of Christianity in Japan (click here to read some for yourself), 隠れキリシタン-- "hidden Christians" who lived their faith in secret while Christianity was banned in Japan, the mirrors and statues they made that secretly depicted Jesus and other Christian images, difficult to understand Bible translations and modern/easier to understand translations...He told me that he has rented and watched many DVDs that show Bible stories (because they're easier to understand than actually reading the Bible) and that he's really interested in the stories! We talked about having faith, building trust with God like we build trust with people, and I got to show him 1 Corinthians 1:25- "For the foolishness of God is wiser than the wisdom of men, and the weakness of God is stronger than the strength of men." (!!!! It was so great!) A couple times during this morning-long conversation he joked, 'Maybe I'll become a Christian today.' Please, PLEASE pray for him! Although Maekawa San was busy working and only joined the conversation intermittently, she overheard all of it...please pray for her too. This conversation left me with about 13 minutes to do some actual work before

It was time to go to lunch with 下田先生　Shimoda Sensei...which was another great thing about the day. As a foreigner, as a non-native Japanese speaker, as a person who teaches all grade levels and thus doesn't have a grade level team to be automatically included with, as a person who rides a bike instead of driving a car and thus can't invite people out to lunch...days without school lunch (days the students are on vacation, but the teachers work) are often stressful-- all morning wondering if anyone will invite you to lunch with them...hoping someone will invite you to lunch with them...hoping you won't feel like a tag-along...sometimes hoping they won't invite you because you don't want to go to the restaurant they're considering going to, and you know that as the foreigner/non-team member/bike rider you won't have any say in the decision and you'd really be happier just going home for lunch or grabbing some fast food at a grocery store. SO, it put me at great ease when shortly after I got to school Shimoda Sensei asked if I wanted to go out to lunch together and then suggested one of my favorite restaurants, which I had introduced to her the last time we went out. (Can I say that? that I "introduced a restaurant" to her? In Japanese, that's how you say it: introduce. Although it doesn't sound too weird to me now...I remember thinking before that it was weird English. Man, it's crazy how messed up your head gets with your own first language when you don't hear it constantly!)

In the afternoon when 秋山先生　Akiyama Sensei was passing by my desk, I asked him how his New Year's was. This led to another surprisingly long (all afternoon long!) conversation. It went from the coat he bought for 50% off and how Japanese people are really into name brands (apparently the 7th grade women teachers in particular! ;) shhh!), but teachers are mostly rather plain in their fashion choices (shhh!) to how he's seen on TV how Americans spend Christmas with their families and he thinks that's surprising and how I think it's weird that Japanese people go on dates for Christmas because there's no connection to the real meaning of Christmas...but then I thought, well, non-Christians in America "celebrate Christmas" and those celebrations don't connect to the real meaning of Christmas either, at which point his eyes got big and he said in disbelief: 'There are Americans who aren't Christians?!?!', 'Yeah!! Most Americans aren't Christians!', 'Most??!!', 'Well, less than half...I mean, if you asked them many people would say they're Christians, but...' Then he asked if the others were Muslims. Yes, there are Muslims...Jews, Buddhists, Atheists (a term he'd never heard before (in Japanese))...many different people. Then he said, it must be hard if you get married to someone who believes something different from you. I told him that a devout Christian probably wouldn't marry a non-Christian. We talked about Christians in Japan, the history of Christianity in Japan (twice in one day!!?), Christian schools in Japan, one of our students who wants to go to a Christian school, how most Japanese kids who go to Christian schools aren't Christians but some become Christians during their time at those schools. Around this time, 清水先生 Shimizu Sensei was passing by and asked what we were talking about. She joined the conversation, and we talked about a million other things...how she went to a Christian preschool, how during college she used to go to church with her friends and sing, and how everyone at church was soo nice, and how Japanese people mix Buddhism and Shinto (Akiyama Sensei had also never heard of Shintoism!! What?! This is the indigenous and former national religion of Japan. And most Japanese weddings are conducted at shrines in the Shinto tradition. I'm shocked that he doesn't know about this!), about sects of Buddhism and denominations of Christianity. The conversation somehow turned to Akiyama Sensei and how he's uncertain about his future. 'Uncertain about what?', I ask. 'Whoa, you're just gonna ask like that??', he replied, taken aback. With all this normal conversation and lack of awkwardness going on all day, I felt so comfortable and must have forgotten that I was talking to a Japanese person!! 'Oh! Okay, I won't ask, since you're Japanese...but Americans ask that kind of question.' To him, it must have seemed like such a personal question, even though to a typical American it would seem really off to hear a friend say that they're worried about a lot of things, but not follow up with a question. (Right?) Then Shimizu Sensei said, 'It's okay to ask Japanese people. They can just answer what they want to and don't have to say what they don't want to.' It was a relief and a pleasant surprise to hear her say that. I was feeling really bad about stepping out of line (LOL!) and making Akiyama Sensei feel on-the-spot. He went on to say that he's concerned about...jobs...passing the R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S exam process for Japanese teachers...not being married yet, and Shimizu Sensei saying that although she got married when she was 24 she thinks it's better to get married later (Akiyama Sensei is almost 29). And on and on the conversation went. Becoming a teacher in America, speaking English, English education in Japan, motivation to learn a language. I really can't believe how long we talked. At one point I think I went into career counseling mode and was suggesting job possibilities to Akiyama Sensei. I learned that there aren't full-time collegiate sports coaches (well, at least not for volleyball) in Japan.

These conversations made my day so fulfilling; and I really don't know how they happened. I feel like I could have just as likely (MORE likely) sat at my desk all day with barely anyone talking to me. I mean, it's not only me...it's not like everyone is chatting it up with each other and ignoring me...it's just that conversations like this don't seem very common at all amongst teachers at school. It was such a surprise! I seriously got about 20 minutes of work done the entire day...and I even stayed an hour late. I remember my first day back last year was like a slap in the face. The silence. The lack of questions from people (i.e. How was your trip home? and so on). THE AWKWARDNESS. But this first day back was まったく違う entirely different. hmm... It was great! Thanks, God!

Before I left, Akiyama Sensei came back to my desk and said quietly, 'Thanks for asking what I'm concerned about.' =) Soo pleasantly surprising! They do want to be asked questions! (??)

最後に Lastly, it is really exciting to realize that other than lunch with Shimoda Sensei, these conversations were 99% in Japanese. !! I mean, my Japanese really is so rudimentary (really.) but it's cool to be able to notice that I spoke and listened to Japanese for hours straight, on so many different topics. :) よかった。 I realize this is a reeaaaally long post: sorry if you're bored. I suspect it's impossible for people who haven't lived this life to understand the impact that a day like this can have...but I wrote a lot because all of this meant a lot.

kotoshi mo yoroshiku onegaishimasu -- 今年もよろしくお願いします

"Thank you God for such a great day!" are the words that popped out of my mouth as I got home after work today. I have so many things to write about...my student's test from a month or so ago...my trip home and all that I realized and appreciated...my trip back to Japan and my New Year's here. But, if I don't write about today now, it will soon be added to the list of things I've been meaning to write about. So, I'll write about today for now and then go back to those other topics even though the non-chronological order is, in the back of my mind, driving me crazy. ;D

Today was such a great day. It was much different from my first-day-back-after-break-in-America last year. There wasn't any awkwardness. WELL...actually there was, but not the usual kind. Today's moment of awkwardness came when Nakazatomi Sensei (a.k.a. Super Man) asked if Shimoda Sensei and I went to a such and such place for lunch. I repeated the such with a questioning intonation, "goukan?" Nakazatomi Sensei and the other 9th grade teachers instantly burst into laughter. Oh no! I obviously didn't hear him correctly, and what I did hear is apparently inappropriate to be questioning out loud in the staff room. OhNoOhNo! What did I say?! I instantly reach for my electronic dictionary. Nakazatomi Sensei repeats, "gouka", but at this point I'm much more concerned with finding the meaning of the word I said. Next to me, Shimoda Sensei (the 9th grade English teacher) is bent over in laughter. This is embarrassing. When the definition of goukan comes up on the screen, I'm shocked and more embarrassed. I turn to the 9th grade teachers, bow, and-- through laughter-- say, "sheetsureishimashita" -- I'm sorry...Excuse my mistake. "Goukan" means "rape". Oh no! Next I look up what Nakazatomi Sensei said and found that "gouka" means "luxurious", "deluxe", etc. "Did you go to a fancy restaurant?", is what he was asking. Wow! That was awkward. YET, yet, far less so than the usual awkwardness I experience here...especially on a first day back after break when the typical lack of interaction with the coworkers I sit merely feet from all day is even more shocking after having been in friendly and free America. There is much more to tell about this day, but not enough time now (as is always the case)...To be continued...

松本城 (Matsumoto Castle) and a Museum of Japanese Education

Last weekend I went to 松本城 (Matsumoto Castle) and a former elementary school, turned museum, in Nagano. 中山先生 (Nakayama Sensei) took his daughter and me. It was about a 2 1/2 hour drive, which meant getting up early-- on a Saturday! I wasn't excited about that at all, but it turned out to be a great day! The drive through the mountains full of fall-colored trees reminded me of Colorado. The castle is spectacular, inside and out! It has one more level than it appears to from the outside. Also, the bottom floor has grated windows that are parallel to the ground; these were for dropping rocks out of when enemies were trying to climb up the stone base. Cool, huh?!

Another strategic feature are these small, wire-slatted windows,
which were for shooting arrows through.

So tall! See those tiny square and rectangle windows?
Those are the ones the arrows were shot through.

With Nakayama Sensei

Momiji! One of my favorite things in Japan!

"I don't mean to brag, but this school is the best elementary school building in Japan."
-Shinpi Newspaper, 21 April 1876
Former Kaichi School, which has now been made into a museum of Japan's educational history and school artifacts, including textbooks in which militaristic and Emperor-centered ideology portions were blacked out following Japan's defeat in WWII. To learn more about this,
check out pages 124-127 of Democracy in Occupied Japan
(Edited by Mark E. Caprio and Yoneyuki Sugita).

Nakayama Sensei taking a moment to relive his childhood days.
He said these solid wood desks and chairs are the same as when he was a student.

Students used these small chalkboards to do their work.
The "eraser" is gauze rolled up and taped.

A "stove" heater!! It bears a striking resemblance to the ones that are in my school now-- more than a century later!

Seeing this was a highlight of the day. Like the "stoves", the school rules haven't changed much in a century either! #2 is something that has really amazed me here-- Japanese kids don't tattle on each other. In 2 1/2 years, I've only seen kids tell on each other two times. AND #4: ..."Say 'Good Morning' to your parents" is just what I'd expect the school rules to say! The Almighty Japanese あいさつ (aisatsu- greeting)!! LOL!

Some thoughts on education...

One of the reasons I came to Japan was to learn about the education system and to compare/contrast it w/ the American system. Surprisingly, there’s almost nothing to compare and almost everything to contrast. When teachers and students here ask me how American school is different than Japanese school, I am totally at a loss. ‘Um…in America, kids and teachers don’t clean the school. Someone does that as a job.’ …‘Students don’t wear uniforms.’ And that’s about as far as I get—those two overt differences. Yet in reality, the things that are the same barely number over two, while the things that are different make up the overwhelming majority of the aspects of American school and Japanese school. It's just hard to explain most of the other differences to people who don't know any system other than this one; for me, the second part of that challenge is to explain in a way that doesn't sound critical. Not to mention, I'd have to explain these complicated, delicate issues in very basic English or risk-ridden Japanese (I say "risk-ridden" because of the high chance of sounding offensive in this language that has soo many rules and formulas for showing respect and communicating indirectly, especially with a message that could potentially be taken as negative). No one ever asks me, “Mya, what’s the same about American school and Japanese school?” Presumably, it’s because they expect that most things are the same and few things are different. Subconsciously this must have been what I thought, too, before coming here and entering the world of Japanese education by becoming an ALT (Assistant Language Teacher). Ha! I can’t believe I ever thought that! It's laughable now. If anyone ever did ask me about the similarities between the education systems of our two countries, I could give a complete answer in about 20 seconds. ‘There are students and teachers. There are desks and chairs. Teachers write on chalkboards……[14 seconds remain, so I’m wracking my brain for other things that are the same.] ….There is a lunch break (though almost everything about them is different from the other country). There is bullying (though in America, it’s not acceptable for teachers to bully). There are parent/teacher/student conferences……[9 seconds left…???? That’s all I’ve got.]

I have thought several times that this job would be a lot easier if I wasn’t a teacher…if I didn’t have any background in education…if I hadn’t studied any classroom mgmt. strategies, child psychology, assessment, lesson plan design, etc. etc. Like, if I was just some engineering major who wanted to come experience Japan and so I decided to apply to be an ALT and hang out in Japanese school for a bit, I think I’d be way less appalled and frustrated than I often am. I wouldn’t have so many defined expectations about what education should look like or even what its purpose is. One of my friends here, Rocio, who is from Spain, recently told me about a book she’s been reading. It’s about Japanese society, and specifically, she was talking about the education portion of the book. It says: the purpose of Japanese education is to create Japanese people. !!! This made SO MUCH make sense! SO MUCH sense. It was as if all the lights in Tokyo—well, that’s a lot of lights! …so, maybe not quite that many...it was as if all the lights in Tokyo Disney Land came on in my head! I’m often frustrated and shocked and baffled at what I see in the education system here, because I’m evaluating it and analyzing it through the filter of what is considered right by American education standards. BUT when Rocio told me that, I realized that the purposes of American education and Japanese education are entirely different [even if upon further consideration it could be determined that one of the key purposes of American education is to create Americans-- people who think as Americans, work as Americans, communicate, express their opinions, balance their time, hang out, ask questions, love, apologize as Americans-- as we do all of these things in vastly different ways than Japanese people do them], so it doesn’t make sense for me to judge the system here through the lens of the American system. I felt SUCH relief. In an instant it was as though a heavy burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I no longer have to try to make sense out of the countless disparities I encounter every day. (sigh) :)

However, today was a day of extreme dissatisfaction with “the system” of English education in Japan (guess I haven’t really shed my American education lens! ;D)…which is what prompted me to start writing...but I’ll have to save the details for another sitting. I’m going to Matsumoto Castle (松本城) in Nagano Prefecture (長野県) EARLY (ugh!) tomorrow morning with one of the 9^th grade math teachers, Nakayama Sensei (中山先生), and his daughter. So for now…I’ll just leave you with two final things to consider:

A quote from Japan’s first minister of Education, Mori Arinori, 1885: “In the administration of all schools, it must be kept in mind that what is to be done is not for the sake of the pupils, but for the sake of the country.”

And on a lighter note, something I learned from Shimoda Sensei (下田先生) during 9^th grade English today: Only 3% of our communication is verbal. (I was pretty stunned when I heard her say this in 1^st period, and I thought maybe I misunderstood her Japanese…so I listened more carefully in 6^th period…and she said the same thing! Can you believe it?! I think I’ll have to do some investigating before I do.)

You Can't Be Serious! part 2

Here's yet another "Are you kidding me?!" moment.

'What is this?', you may ask, 'An empty pack of gum taped to a piece of paper?!'

Yes!

But a closer look will reveal that this display of an empty pack of gum taped to a piece of paper is actually something more. It is evidence and documentation of a flagrant violation. For this is not just any gum package. It's a gum package that was found on school property. *The audience gasps.* This could only mean one thing-- a student brought gum to school. The currently known facts are scrawled: On February 5th (Friday), attached gum package was found during cleaning time. Location: 7th grade hallway, near the entrance to the gym. At this time, no further details are known.

In an unexpected turn of events during the morning staff meeting, in between Kouchou Sensei's (the principal) entirely predictable speech about nothing and Hoshino Sensei's blurb about the intranet training for teachers, "Exhibit A" was held up for public viewing and notification. In a simultaneously serious and exasperated tone, the details were disseminated, and we were all cautioned to be on the lookout for other such contraband. It was then posted in the staff room for all to see...and be reminded. (Note: Lest you be misled by the drama of this scenario, I want to reassure you that no weapons, drugs, or cigarettes were involved. The only one who's been found with cigarettes at school is Kouchou Sensei, and it's no secret where he is-- in the alley next to the gym.)

Despite its prominent display, I had to wait a long time to get a photo of this evidence and accompanying documentation. It was posted next to the desk of the double agent-- teacher-by-day, Yakuza-by-night-- Zakamatsu Sensei, who is apparently in charge of rule violation notification at my school. And undoubtedly, taking such a photo is against some unwritten rule. So, I considered, and plotted, and waited, and weighed the risks, and on a Monday afternoon when the staff room was nearly empty, thanks to all the real teachers being in the weekly staff meeting, and while the librarian and building manager distracted each other with chatting in the opposite corner of the room, I went for it! Thus, I present for your shock and awe: Exhibit A.

RE: Another page from my school journal

Thinking back to my post from January 21st, it's quite astounding to realize the resilience of the human spirit. We often hear people who've recently returned from missions trips and relief trips say that when they've given basic items and simple toys to people in destitute situations, the recipients are overjoyed as though they were receiving something far greater than what they actually did receive. It seems to me that going without something for awhile diminishes the expectation for it-- and thus the disappointment at not having it, and correspondingly increases the joy when (if) that thing is received. A year and a half ago when I worked in America, it wouldn't have been thrilling and journal-worthy to have a colleague call me by name and say bye to me before going home at the end of the day. BUT, now, it's one of my best memories of my time in Japan! I have come to expect people to ignore me and pass me in silence at school. So, Takei Sensei's very unexpected good-bye was impacting and memorable. Wow! It's pretty amazing how God has made us like this...adaptable, able to adjust as needed to survive!