Kimono in Kiryu - 桐生の着物

Here are some pictures from yesterday and also from last month when I went with my friend Reiko and a couple of her friends to try on antique kimonos and wear them out and about for the day. Until recently I never wanted to put on kimonos, and I especially didn't want to be seen in public wearing one. Whenever I've seen other foreigners wearing kimonos I've thought they looked strange...because kimonos are obviously Japanese, and they (the women) are obviously not Japanese. I don't know...they just seemed out of place and big and goofy wearing them. It came up in conversation with my friend, Shohei, and I asked him if he thinks foreigners who wear kimonos look weird. He disagreed with me and said that when he sees a foreigner wearing a kimono he thinks, "That woman really loves Japan." hmm... I finally decided to give it a try. Surprisingly I have enjoyed wearing them.

This is my friend Reiko, who is the dietitian at my elementary school.

This is the obi, which is wrapped around your waist and fastened at the back in various designs.

Some thoughts on education...continued...

Continuing from November 26th...the story I really wanted to tell was about the ridiculous rigidity of the test-focused education system and how it often affects English students (which includes all jr. high students). I'd heard multiple stories from Japanese friends describing the same scenario I'm about to describe, and I was always baffled in disbelief. But when I actually experienced it myself, it was SO appalling and frustrating. It really makes me wonder how this place stays in business. Well, I guess as long as they stay in the testing business, they'll come out on top.

The day the 8th grade English mid-term was handed back, I stopped one of my students, Ken, in the hall and asked him how his test was. He said, "I hate Japanese English." At the beginning of this school year, Ken and his family moved back from Washington, where they had spent about 2 years. Having gone to American school and learning English as a Second Language-- as opposed to English as a Foreign Language, as kids in Japanese schools do-- Ken speaks and writes English naturally. Better than the English teachers. Much better. He shouldn't even have to take the standard English class but there isn't a differentiated (leveled) program, so there's no other class he can take. Poor kid! When I ask him what he means by saying that he hates Japanese English, he shows me one of his test questions that was marked wrong, but that he believes is actually correct. Aah, "I hate Japanese English" means 'I hate English that is awkward and rigid and used to pass tests, not to communicate.' We had recently studied map/directional related words, like: right, left, beside. On the test, students were supposed to write the Japanese word that means "across". Ken's answer was marked wrong because he had written the Japanese word that indicates being diagonally across, rather than the word that means directly across. Although the word catty-corner/kitty-corner exists, it's not like we use it all that often...AND the word "across" could obviously be used to describe something that is catty-corner to something else. I tell Ken that I agree that his answer is correct. He has already talked to the Japanese English teacher about it, but she disagreed. He asks me, "Can you talk to her and get me some points?" / "Yes!" I respond with determination-- hearing the words of Roy, my principal in America, resound in my head: "We do what's best for kids"...while, in the same instant, recognizing that I'm not at Antelope Trails anymore, and these words that I believe with all my heart aren't so easily carried out here. Of course I will go advocate for Ken. But I'm afraid. I shouldn't have to fight this hard with other teachers (!!) to do what's best for kids...but I do. I do have to fight hard because this is a system that is about test scores more than it is about kids as individuals. To people outside this system, this probably all sounds pretty dramatic for something as inconsequential as "across" vs. "catty-corner", but it's not just about this incident. It's about this system that creates this incident again and again in school after school, sending the message to kids that what matters is thousands of memorized words and formulaic, right vs. wrong English on written tests-- not using English as a tool for communicating with people and understanding media. So, I take a deep breath, put on my game face, and go into the staff room and approach Ken's English teacher. I try to be confident inside, while showing humility in my approach. I am on the low rung of the ancient ladder of Japanese school hierarchy. Despite being a native speaker (the only one in my school) and a trained, licensed teacher, with an educational emphasis in ESL (English as a Second Language), my knowledge (I'm not saying I'm an expert or anything!) and opinions have no bearing in this system. I'm abandoning my post on the bottom rung by approaching this veteran Japanese English teacher to question her decision to count a correct answer wrong. (Even now, a month and a half later, just thinking and writing about it makes me sigh with tension.) I use my gentlest, indirect English to bring up the issue with her. She explains that the word Ken wrote means diagonally across, not across. I listen and use my Japanese listening sounds and pause and then finally say that I think (ha! "I think") in English, "diagonal" can also be expressed using "across". She says, with firm frustration in her voice and countenance, "I know". "But in the textbook it says..." "We taught [this meaning]."

Are you kidding me?!?! You are counting this proficient English speaker's correct answer wrong because he didn't write the answer that you taught from the textbook??!! RI-DICULOUS! And even though he knows he can use English-- which is what matters-- he's now in this system where test points matter, so he's distraught over those missed points. I have to go back to Ken and say that I'm very sorry but the teacher won't give him credit for that answer. I try to reassure him that what is important is that he can speak English; at the same time, I acknowledge that I realize that as a student those points matter to him. I try to encourage him by pointing out that in the course of his academic career-- intense as the Japanese jr. high career is-- those few points won't make a difference. I just don't get this teacher's kind of thinking at all. I don't think she's a bad teacher either. She explains grammar clearly and tries to make learning engaging. But this prevalent philosophy of only accepting the answers "we taught" is a crime.

Thank you God for such a great day!...continued...

The other great things about Wednesday (Ha! "other"-- as though saying "goukan" instead of "gouka" (as I described in my previous post) can be called a great thing!) were: that I had several LONG, interesting, meaningful conversations with teachers... 岡田先生　Okada Sensei-- who I wish could be my father-in-law-- and I, along with 前川さん　Maekawa San sometimes joining in, talked about the difference between priests and pastors, Protestant and Catholic beliefs, God's grace and His love that doesn't have to be earned, the history of Christianity in Japan (click here to read some for yourself), 隠れキリシタン-- "hidden Christians" who lived their faith in secret while Christianity was banned in Japan, the mirrors and statues they made that secretly depicted Jesus and other Christian images, difficult to understand Bible translations and modern/easier to understand translations...He told me that he has rented and watched many DVDs that show Bible stories (because they're easier to understand than actually reading the Bible) and that he's really interested in the stories! We talked about having faith, building trust with God like we build trust with people, and I got to show him 1 Corinthians 1:25- "For the foolishness of God is wiser than the wisdom of men, and the weakness of God is stronger than the strength of men." (!!!! It was so great!) A couple times during this morning-long conversation he joked, 'Maybe I'll become a Christian today.' Please, PLEASE pray for him! Although Maekawa San was busy working and only joined the conversation intermittently, she overheard all of it...please pray for her too. This conversation left me with about 13 minutes to do some actual work before

It was time to go to lunch with 下田先生　Shimoda Sensei...which was another great thing about the day. As a foreigner, as a non-native Japanese speaker, as a person who teaches all grade levels and thus doesn't have a grade level team to be automatically included with, as a person who rides a bike instead of driving a car and thus can't invite people out to lunch...days without school lunch (days the students are on vacation, but the teachers work) are often stressful-- all morning wondering if anyone will invite you to lunch with them...hoping someone will invite you to lunch with them...hoping you won't feel like a tag-along...sometimes hoping they won't invite you because you don't want to go to the restaurant they're considering going to, and you know that as the foreigner/non-team member/bike rider you won't have any say in the decision and you'd really be happier just going home for lunch or grabbing some fast food at a grocery store. SO, it put me at great ease when shortly after I got to school Shimoda Sensei asked if I wanted to go out to lunch together and then suggested one of my favorite restaurants, which I had introduced to her the last time we went out. (Can I say that? that I "introduced a restaurant" to her? In Japanese, that's how you say it: introduce. Although it doesn't sound too weird to me now...I remember thinking before that it was weird English. Man, it's crazy how messed up your head gets with your own first language when you don't hear it constantly!)

In the afternoon when 秋山先生　Akiyama Sensei was passing by my desk, I asked him how his New Year's was. This led to another surprisingly long (all afternoon long!) conversation. It went from the coat he bought for 50% off and how Japanese people are really into name brands (apparently the 7th grade women teachers in particular! ;) shhh!), but teachers are mostly rather plain in their fashion choices (shhh!) to how he's seen on TV how Americans spend Christmas with their families and he thinks that's surprising and how I think it's weird that Japanese people go on dates for Christmas because there's no connection to the real meaning of Christmas...but then I thought, well, non-Christians in America "celebrate Christmas" and those celebrations don't connect to the real meaning of Christmas either, at which point his eyes got big and he said in disbelief: 'There are Americans who aren't Christians?!?!', 'Yeah!! Most Americans aren't Christians!', 'Most??!!', 'Well, less than half...I mean, if you asked them many people would say they're Christians, but...' Then he asked if the others were Muslims. Yes, there are Muslims...Jews, Buddhists, Atheists (a term he'd never heard before (in Japanese))...many different people. Then he said, it must be hard if you get married to someone who believes something different from you. I told him that a devout Christian probably wouldn't marry a non-Christian. We talked about Christians in Japan, the history of Christianity in Japan (twice in one day!!?), Christian schools in Japan, one of our students who wants to go to a Christian school, how most Japanese kids who go to Christian schools aren't Christians but some become Christians during their time at those schools. Around this time, 清水先生 Shimizu Sensei was passing by and asked what we were talking about. She joined the conversation, and we talked about a million other things...how she went to a Christian preschool, how during college she used to go to church with her friends and sing, and how everyone at church was soo nice, and how Japanese people mix Buddhism and Shinto (Akiyama Sensei had also never heard of Shintoism!! What?! This is the indigenous and former national religion of Japan. And most Japanese weddings are conducted at shrines in the Shinto tradition. I'm shocked that he doesn't know about this!), about sects of Buddhism and denominations of Christianity. The conversation somehow turned to Akiyama Sensei and how he's uncertain about his future. 'Uncertain about what?', I ask. 'Whoa, you're just gonna ask like that??', he replied, taken aback. With all this normal conversation and lack of awkwardness going on all day, I felt so comfortable and must have forgotten that I was talking to a Japanese person!! 'Oh! Okay, I won't ask, since you're Japanese...but Americans ask that kind of question.' To him, it must have seemed like such a personal question, even though to a typical American it would seem really off to hear a friend say that they're worried about a lot of things, but not follow up with a question. (Right?) Then Shimizu Sensei said, 'It's okay to ask Japanese people. They can just answer what they want to and don't have to say what they don't want to.' It was a relief and a pleasant surprise to hear her say that. I was feeling really bad about stepping out of line (LOL!) and making Akiyama Sensei feel on-the-spot. He went on to say that he's concerned about...jobs...passing the R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S exam process for Japanese teachers...not being married yet, and Shimizu Sensei saying that although she got married when she was 24 she thinks it's better to get married later (Akiyama Sensei is almost 29). And on and on the conversation went. Becoming a teacher in America, speaking English, English education in Japan, motivation to learn a language. I really can't believe how long we talked. At one point I think I went into career counseling mode and was suggesting job possibilities to Akiyama Sensei. I learned that there aren't full-time collegiate sports coaches (well, at least not for volleyball) in Japan.

These conversations made my day so fulfilling; and I really don't know how they happened. I feel like I could have just as likely (MORE likely) sat at my desk all day with barely anyone talking to me. I mean, it's not only me...it's not like everyone is chatting it up with each other and ignoring me...it's just that conversations like this don't seem very common at all amongst teachers at school. It was such a surprise! I seriously got about 20 minutes of work done the entire day...and I even stayed an hour late. I remember my first day back last year was like a slap in the face. The silence. The lack of questions from people (i.e. How was your trip home? and so on). THE AWKWARDNESS. But this first day back was まったく違う entirely different. hmm... It was great! Thanks, God!

Before I left, Akiyama Sensei came back to my desk and said quietly, 'Thanks for asking what I'm concerned about.' =) Soo pleasantly surprising! They do want to be asked questions! (??)

最後に Lastly, it is really exciting to realize that other than lunch with Shimoda Sensei, these conversations were 99% in Japanese. !! I mean, my Japanese really is so rudimentary (really.) but it's cool to be able to notice that I spoke and listened to Japanese for hours straight, on so many different topics. :) よかった。 I realize this is a reeaaaally long post: sorry if you're bored. I suspect it's impossible for people who haven't lived this life to understand the impact that a day like this can have...but I wrote a lot because all of this meant a lot.

kotoshi mo yoroshiku onegaishimasu -- 今年もよろしくお願いします

"Thank you God for such a great day!" are the words that popped out of my mouth as I got home after work today. I have so many things to write about...my student's test from a month or so ago...my trip home and all that I realized and appreciated...my trip back to Japan and my New Year's here. But, if I don't write about today now, it will soon be added to the list of things I've been meaning to write about. So, I'll write about today for now and then go back to those other topics even though the non-chronological order is, in the back of my mind, driving me crazy. ;D

Today was such a great day. It was much different from my first-day-back-after-break-in-America last year. There wasn't any awkwardness. WELL...actually there was, but not the usual kind. Today's moment of awkwardness came when Nakazatomi Sensei (a.k.a. Super Man) asked if Shimoda Sensei and I went to a such and such place for lunch. I repeated the such with a questioning intonation, "goukan?" Nakazatomi Sensei and the other 9th grade teachers instantly burst into laughter. Oh no! I obviously didn't hear him correctly, and what I did hear is apparently inappropriate to be questioning out loud in the staff room. OhNoOhNo! What did I say?! I instantly reach for my electronic dictionary. Nakazatomi Sensei repeats, "gouka", but at this point I'm much more concerned with finding the meaning of the word I said. Next to me, Shimoda Sensei (the 9th grade English teacher) is bent over in laughter. This is embarrassing. When the definition of goukan comes up on the screen, I'm shocked and more embarrassed. I turn to the 9th grade teachers, bow, and-- through laughter-- say, "sheetsureishimashita" -- I'm sorry...Excuse my mistake. "Goukan" means "rape". Oh no! Next I look up what Nakazatomi Sensei said and found that "gouka" means "luxurious", "deluxe", etc. "Did you go to a fancy restaurant?", is what he was asking. Wow! That was awkward. YET, yet, far less so than the usual awkwardness I experience here...especially on a first day back after break when the typical lack of interaction with the coworkers I sit merely feet from all day is even more shocking after having been in friendly and free America. There is much more to tell about this day, but not enough time now (as is always the case)...To be continued...