松本城 (Matsumoto Castle) and a Museum of Japanese Education

Last weekend I went to 松本城 (Matsumoto Castle) and a former elementary school, turned museum, in Nagano. 中山先生 (Nakayama Sensei) took his daughter and me. It was about a 2 1/2 hour drive, which meant getting up early-- on a Saturday! I wasn't excited about that at all, but it turned out to be a great day! The drive through the mountains full of fall-colored trees reminded me of Colorado. The castle is spectacular, inside and out! It has one more level than it appears to from the outside. Also, the bottom floor has grated windows that are parallel to the ground; these were for dropping rocks out of when enemies were trying to climb up the stone base. Cool, huh?!

Another strategic feature are these small, wire-slatted windows,
which were for shooting arrows through.

So tall! See those tiny square and rectangle windows?
Those are the ones the arrows were shot through.

With Nakayama Sensei

Momiji! One of my favorite things in Japan!

"I don't mean to brag, but this school is the best elementary school building in Japan."
-Shinpi Newspaper, 21 April 1876
Former Kaichi School, which has now been made into a museum of Japan's educational history and school artifacts, including textbooks in which militaristic and Emperor-centered ideology portions were blacked out following Japan's defeat in WWII. To learn more about this,
check out pages 124-127 of Democracy in Occupied Japan
(Edited by Mark E. Caprio and Yoneyuki Sugita).

Nakayama Sensei taking a moment to relive his childhood days.
He said these solid wood desks and chairs are the same as when he was a student.

Students used these small chalkboards to do their work.
The "eraser" is gauze rolled up and taped.

A "stove" heater!! It bears a striking resemblance to the ones that are in my school now-- more than a century later!

Seeing this was a highlight of the day. Like the "stoves", the school rules haven't changed much in a century either! #2 is something that has really amazed me here-- Japanese kids don't tattle on each other. In 2 1/2 years, I've only seen kids tell on each other two times. AND #4: ..."Say 'Good Morning' to your parents" is just what I'd expect the school rules to say! The Almighty Japanese あいさつ (aisatsu- greeting)!! LOL!

Some thoughts on education...

One of the reasons I came to Japan was to learn about the education system and to compare/contrast it w/ the American system. Surprisingly, there’s almost nothing to compare and almost everything to contrast. When teachers and students here ask me how American school is different than Japanese school, I am totally at a loss. ‘Um…in America, kids and teachers don’t clean the school. Someone does that as a job.’ …‘Students don’t wear uniforms.’ And that’s about as far as I get—those two overt differences. Yet in reality, the things that are the same barely number over two, while the things that are different make up the overwhelming majority of the aspects of American school and Japanese school. It's just hard to explain most of the other differences to people who don't know any system other than this one; for me, the second part of that challenge is to explain in a way that doesn't sound critical. Not to mention, I'd have to explain these complicated, delicate issues in very basic English or risk-ridden Japanese (I say "risk-ridden" because of the high chance of sounding offensive in this language that has soo many rules and formulas for showing respect and communicating indirectly, especially with a message that could potentially be taken as negative). No one ever asks me, “Mya, what’s the same about American school and Japanese school?” Presumably, it’s because they expect that most things are the same and few things are different. Subconsciously this must have been what I thought, too, before coming here and entering the world of Japanese education by becoming an ALT (Assistant Language Teacher). Ha! I can’t believe I ever thought that! It's laughable now. If anyone ever did ask me about the similarities between the education systems of our two countries, I could give a complete answer in about 20 seconds. ‘There are students and teachers. There are desks and chairs. Teachers write on chalkboards……[14 seconds remain, so I’m wracking my brain for other things that are the same.] ….There is a lunch break (though almost everything about them is different from the other country). There is bullying (though in America, it’s not acceptable for teachers to bully). There are parent/teacher/student conferences……[9 seconds left…???? That’s all I’ve got.]

I have thought several times that this job would be a lot easier if I wasn’t a teacher…if I didn’t have any background in education…if I hadn’t studied any classroom mgmt. strategies, child psychology, assessment, lesson plan design, etc. etc. Like, if I was just some engineering major who wanted to come experience Japan and so I decided to apply to be an ALT and hang out in Japanese school for a bit, I think I’d be way less appalled and frustrated than I often am. I wouldn’t have so many defined expectations about what education should look like or even what its purpose is. One of my friends here, Rocio, who is from Spain, recently told me about a book she’s been reading. It’s about Japanese society, and specifically, she was talking about the education portion of the book. It says: the purpose of Japanese education is to create Japanese people. !!! This made SO MUCH make sense! SO MUCH sense. It was as if all the lights in Tokyo—well, that’s a lot of lights! …so, maybe not quite that many...it was as if all the lights in Tokyo Disney Land came on in my head! I’m often frustrated and shocked and baffled at what I see in the education system here, because I’m evaluating it and analyzing it through the filter of what is considered right by American education standards. BUT when Rocio told me that, I realized that the purposes of American education and Japanese education are entirely different [even if upon further consideration it could be determined that one of the key purposes of American education is to create Americans-- people who think as Americans, work as Americans, communicate, express their opinions, balance their time, hang out, ask questions, love, apologize as Americans-- as we do all of these things in vastly different ways than Japanese people do them], so it doesn’t make sense for me to judge the system here through the lens of the American system. I felt SUCH relief. In an instant it was as though a heavy burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I no longer have to try to make sense out of the countless disparities I encounter every day. (sigh) :)

However, today was a day of extreme dissatisfaction with “the system” of English education in Japan (guess I haven’t really shed my American education lens! ;D)…which is what prompted me to start writing...but I’ll have to save the details for another sitting. I’m going to Matsumoto Castle (松本城) in Nagano Prefecture (長野県) EARLY (ugh!) tomorrow morning with one of the 9^th grade math teachers, Nakayama Sensei (中山先生), and his daughter. So for now…I’ll just leave you with two final things to consider:

A quote from Japan’s first minister of Education, Mori Arinori, 1885: “In the administration of all schools, it must be kept in mind that what is to be done is not for the sake of the pupils, but for the sake of the country.”

And on a lighter note, something I learned from Shimoda Sensei (下田先生) during 9^th grade English today: Only 3% of our communication is verbal. (I was pretty stunned when I heard her say this in 1^st period, and I thought maybe I misunderstood her Japanese…so I listened more carefully in 6^th period…and she said the same thing! Can you believe it?! I think I’ll have to do some investigating before I do.)

A Week of 給食 - Day 5

Today was one of those Western (??) lunches. :)

Chili dogs

Curry flavored soup with cabbage, broccoli, carrots, potatoes, and small slices of pork (I'm starting to realize that these small slices of pork are in almost every soup!)

Blueberry yogurt with bananas and peaches in it

Milk

I hope you guys have enjoyed seeing my Japanese school lunches this week! They are seriously one of my favorite things about my job here! ;) It's SO nice to not have to wake up early every morning to make lunch like I did when I taught in the States. AND it's really, really great to get to try so many different foods...AND it only costs me about ￥250 a day! Best of all, it usually tastes ちょうおいしい.

A Week of 給食 - Day 4

Today's lunch was one of my favorites!

マーボー豆腐 (mabo dofu) - a Chinese dish - ground pork, tofu, and diced vegetables in a delicious sauce with rice

"Chinese salad" - cabbage, cucumbers, carrots, bits of scrambled egg, small slices of pork, and chunks of squid ;(~ in a light dressing

An apple slice

And milk

A Week of 給食 - Day 3

On Wednesdays I go to elementary school, and it seems like almost every Wednesday is seafood day at elementary school! ugh!!! Actually, after checking out the monthly lunch menu, I think 玲子 (Reiko), the dietitian at my elementary school, just has more of a taste for seafood...so it's on the menu a lot-- not just Wednesdays. Although we sometimes have seafood at my jr. high, seafood on Wednesdays is particularly bad for me because at elementary school I always eat with the kids. It's part of my scheduled day. So...if there's something I don't like, I usually have to eat it anyway, because the kids have to eat all of their food. (The first time I was served shishamo was at elementary school!!) (At jr. high I usually eat with the kids a couple times a week, but it's not part of my actual schedule, so I can just choose to eat with kids when I want to...when there's nothing on the menu that I really dislike.)

Due to the track record of "seafood Wednesdays", I'm always a little nervous to check the lunch menu when I go to elementary school. Today, I was very pleasantly surprised!! We had:


Pumpkin bread

Ground pork in a delicious sauce with carrots, mushrooms, peas, bamboo shoots, white radish, and slightly fried potatoes. SO good!

Miso soup with tofu, cabbage, onions, carrots, and (SURPRISE!) salmon. Whaat?! We have this soup often, and I really like it. I started eating it happily, but then when I took a sip of the broth, I knew instantly there was fish in it! blah! I looked...and saw chunks of salmon floating in it. Just when I thought I had escaped seafood Wednesday for once, it snuck up on me!

Fruits barbaloa-- which is chunks of bananas, pineapple, and oranges in a sweet, yet tart, pudding/yogurt-ish stuff.

And milk...which as usual, I saved to bring home to use in my coffee.

A Week of 給食 - Day 2

Today's lunch was a highlight of the day.


Chicken with a sesame apple sauce that is SO delicious!

Potato salad-- which wasn't made with pasty mayo. I don't usually like potato salad, but I like the ones we have for school lunch. Today's included cucumbers, carrots, corn, and cheese cubes. I know it sounds strange, but it's actually really good.

Vegetable soup-- which is amazingly sweet. Maekawa San tells me it's just the natural sweetness of the vegetables that makes the broth sweet...but it's hard for me to believe her. ;) There was also sliced pork in the soup.

米粉 (Komeko) Bread-- which is bread made from rice flour, and blueberry jam. (Can you see the jam packet just barely showing behind my plate?)

And milk.

Besides lunch, another highlight of the day was getting to laugh a lot with the 7th graders this afternoon during 5th and 6th periods and also during cleaning time after that. A really sweet kid named Naoya just smiles the most adorable smile all the time...which totally makes me smile. Sometimes, like today during 6th period, Naoya smiles so much it seems like he's about to laugh, which makes me laugh. He sits right in the front of the class, where I was standing today while Ikeda Sensei was giving directions. I had to totally fight the urge to laugh out loud during class. Actually, now that I think about it...I think I may have laughed out loud. Ryo, who sits behind Naoya said, 'What are you guys laughing about?!' ;D

A Week of 給食 (School Lunch) - Day 1

In Japanese elementary and jr. high schools all students and teachers eat school lunch (kyushoku) every day. I am SO fortunate to have the best school dietitian EVER at my jr. high, so I get really great lunches!! (most days. ;) i mean, i am a seafood hater living in Japan, so there are bound to be some lunches i'd prefer not to have...but most of the time i really like what Maekawa San (前川さん) and the rest of the kitchen staff make.) I get to try so many different foods that aren't served in restaurants or that I wouldn't know to order, even if they were. A lot of our lunches are "home cooking" style Japanese food, rather than just the very traditional foods that most restaurants have. Before coming to Japan and being served the wonder that is kyushoku, I wouldn't have imagined most of these foods when thinking about "Japanese food". So, I guess other Americans wouldn't think of these as "Japanese food" either. That's why I decided that I'd post a picture of school lunch every day this week. I hope you enjoy seeing the variety. In addition to Japanese food, we also have Korean, Chinese, Indian, Italian, and Western (??).

I have been thinking about doing this for a couple weeks but kept forgetting, so I was really excited to check the lunch menu this morning to find out what today's lunch was! I could NOT believe what I saw...ししゃも (shishamo) and わかめご飯 (wakame gohan). Ogh...sick!!! These are the two foods I dislike more than anything else! UNbelievable! What a way to start this week of blogging school lunch. Well, you get what you get.


So, here it is...いただきます:

Shishamo [also known as "the most disgusting food in the world"]-- long, slender fish, which are eaten whole-- including the head. Although it's strange to just bite off the head of a fish, eyes and all, and eat it, that's not at all the worst part of shishamo. Other than the head and the little, crispy tail, the rest of the fish is full of tiny white eggs. Just thinking of the inside of a shishamo makes me feel sick. I wanted to take a picture of the inside of the fish so you could see it, but that would have required me biting the fish open. I was not about to do that! I gave them both away to Nakazatomi Sensei, and I thought it might be rude to ask him if I could take a picture after he'd taken a bite. So...check out this link. Really though, shishamo is even worse than the picture makes it look.

Wakame gohan-- rice with wakame seaweed and tiny, clear fish (including heads and eyes) mixed in.

Soup with tofu, spinach, celery, wakame, and carrots.

Cabbage and sprout salad with almond dressing (love this dressing!)

A mikan orange-- which I think is the same as a Clementine. ??

And milk, which we have every day.

I didn't eat much of this meal, so I'm pretty hungry now...time for dinner! Curry. yumm! Check back tomorrow for what will most definitely be a better lunch.

the little things

Yesterday was Culture Day in Japan. It's one of many mid-week national holidays that I have come to love. Although it's nice that at home the random holidays are observed on Mondays so we can have 3-day weekends, I think I like the mid-week holidays better. They make the whole week more exciting, and the work week seems shorter. While riding my bike in the beautiful sunny, fall morning yesterday, I felt really excited and thought to myself that I was going to have an adventure. Then I chuckled as I realized that getting a haircut by myself for the first time is what I had just thought of as "an adventure". :D HA! Soo weird...but I really was excited. For more than a year I never went to a salon here. I just waited until I went home on breaks to get my hair cut. The thought of going to a Japanese stylist was not an option in my mind. They've rarely seen hair like mine, let alone cut it! Then, several months ago, for some reason my Japanese teacher, Yamamoto San (山本　さん), randomly suggested that I go to her stylist. She could barely stifle her laughter as she pled with me, "Pleease, Mya! It will be a good Japanese experience!" I knew it would be an experience, but I didn't think "good" belonged in that sentence. Finally my getting-too-long hair and Yamamoto San's persistence ("My stylist just moved back from Tokyo...he's probably done foreigners' hair before.", "He has good technique."...) made me cave. I agreed to go to the salon with her. I sat in the stylist's chair, nervous and barely able to breathe, even though before going I had looked up many words in the dictionary, drawn a diagram of what shape I did not want and what I did want, and explained all of it to Yamamoto San. The stylist seemed nervous too...'Oh great!' (Maybe it was because I looked panicked and wasn't breathing.) In the end, he did a good job, and I've been back since. But yesterday was the first time I made the appointment myself and went by myself without Yamamoto San there to help me explain what I wanted. It worked out well, and I really like my haircut...even though it is 2-3 inches shorter than I said I wanted! Adventure!

In the afternoon I was walking up to the train station and passed a man who directs traffic out of a busy parking garage. I greeted him with a single word, 「こんにちは」 / "konnichiwa", to which he enthusiastically replied, 「日本語上手いね!!」 / "Your Japanese is really good!!" No Culture Day in Japan would be complete without a Japanese person giving excessive praise for a foreigner's minimal language ability!

しばらく (It's been a long time.)

Lately several people have been telling me I need to write something new. The past 4 months have been up and down...with the downs probably being the lowest of my life. I remember thinking, "This isn't an adventure anymore." I haven't written because nothing has seemed very comical and I didn't want to write negative things. I'm doing much better now, although my circumstances haven't changed much. What has changed is my perspective. The Holy Spirit reminded me of Psalm 121:1-2, which says, "I lift my eyes to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the maker of heaven and earth." I realized that I had been REALLY focused on all the stressful, frustrating, and annoying things that have been going on. It's amazing to see how God has lifted my spirit and renewed my joy as I've lifted my eyes to Him and to the stunning mountains that surround my city, remembering that He made those...that He is powerful enough to help me.

You Can't Be Serious! part 2

Here's yet another "Are you kidding me?!" moment.

'What is this?', you may ask, 'An empty pack of gum taped to a piece of paper?!'

Yes!

But a closer look will reveal that this display of an empty pack of gum taped to a piece of paper is actually something more. It is evidence and documentation of a flagrant violation. For this is not just any gum package. It's a gum package that was found on school property. *The audience gasps.* This could only mean one thing-- a student brought gum to school. The currently known facts are scrawled: On February 5th (Friday), attached gum package was found during cleaning time. Location: 7th grade hallway, near the entrance to the gym. At this time, no further details are known.

In an unexpected turn of events during the morning staff meeting, in between Kouchou Sensei's (the principal) entirely predictable speech about nothing and Hoshino Sensei's blurb about the intranet training for teachers, "Exhibit A" was held up for public viewing and notification. In a simultaneously serious and exasperated tone, the details were disseminated, and we were all cautioned to be on the lookout for other such contraband. It was then posted in the staff room for all to see...and be reminded. (Note: Lest you be misled by the drama of this scenario, I want to reassure you that no weapons, drugs, or cigarettes were involved. The only one who's been found with cigarettes at school is Kouchou Sensei, and it's no secret where he is-- in the alley next to the gym.)

Despite its prominent display, I had to wait a long time to get a photo of this evidence and accompanying documentation. It was posted next to the desk of the double agent-- teacher-by-day, Yakuza-by-night-- Zakamatsu Sensei, who is apparently in charge of rule violation notification at my school. And undoubtedly, taking such a photo is against some unwritten rule. So, I considered, and plotted, and waited, and weighed the risks, and on a Monday afternoon when the staff room was nearly empty, thanks to all the real teachers being in the weekly staff meeting, and while the librarian and building manager distracted each other with chatting in the opposite corner of the room, I went for it! Thus, I present for your shock and awe: Exhibit A.

You Can't Be Serious! part 1

Every day at school I see countless things and situations that are different from the way they are in American schools. By now, most of them seem normal, and I usually pass right by without giving them a second thought. BUT-- there remain several things so odd that I still can't believe they exist. Here are a few...

hanging nets containing bars of soap at the sinks
The soap isn't removed from the nets. They hang from the faucets, so you can easily wet the slimy, full of grime, used-by-a-hundred-other-people soap and nets and wash your hands with them just like that. Can that really be called "wash"ing your hands?-- slathering slime on them under cold running water?

a "stove"
This circa 1910 metal monster connected to the ceiling by a winding, coffee can width pipe is the only means of heating classrooms. (Well, actually, some of the kids bring their own warmth-- in the form of self-heating pads, which Americans put in their ski boots.) Kids from each homeroom are assigned to go out to the shed to fill up a jug with kerosene then bring it back to the classroom and pour it into the "stove"-- which is not used for cooking anything. This fuel ensures that the 2 kids sitting in front of the stove will be sweating all day and that the 4 kids right behind and next to them will be warm. The other 34 kids might as well be sitting outside because the heat doesn't radiate any farther than 3 feet. Welcome to the land of technological superiority! The other thing that that fuel, carried by 13-year-olds, does is create enough heat to nearly boil the water in the metal bowl that sits on top of this mysterious contraption that looks like a torture device or something in a horror movie science lab. I've been wondering why that bowl of water is a necessary component, and what I've discovered is that kids use it for heating up their hands and their cartons of milk-- both of which they put into the water.

Part 2 will soon follow...you won't believe it...

RE: Another page from my school journal

Thinking back to my post from January 21st, it's quite astounding to realize the resilience of the human spirit. We often hear people who've recently returned from missions trips and relief trips say that when they've given basic items and simple toys to people in destitute situations, the recipients are overjoyed as though they were receiving something far greater than what they actually did receive. It seems to me that going without something for awhile diminishes the expectation for it-- and thus the disappointment at not having it, and correspondingly increases the joy when (if) that thing is received. A year and a half ago when I worked in America, it wouldn't have been thrilling and journal-worthy to have a colleague call me by name and say bye to me before going home at the end of the day. BUT, now, it's one of my best memories of my time in Japan! I have come to expect people to ignore me and pass me in silence at school. So, Takei Sensei's very unexpected good-bye was impacting and memorable. Wow! It's pretty amazing how God has made us like this...adaptable, able to adjust as needed to survive!

I ate this.

I meant to post this pic like a month ago! This is natto. Natto is fermented soybeans. In general, Japanese people LOVE natto. WHAAAT?! It reeks like nail polish remover poured over moldy bread. Sick! Seriously, as soon as I opened the door to the staff lunch room the day this was served for school lunch, the fumes hit me in the face. Having successfully avoided eating natto for the first year and seven months that I was in Japan, I counted myself lucky and strategic. But then, when it was served for lunch I figured this was the best time to try it if I ever was going to. And since it's such a well-liked food amongst Japanese people and such an infamously detested food amongst foreign people in Japan, I figured I should try it once. School lunch is the best time for me to try any food I'm hesitant about because I have an audience who encourages and who praises excessively if I successfully down a "very Japanese" food. Plus, it's already paid for, so I'm not losing any money if I don't finish it. Yet, I still thought: NO! I can't eat natto. It's too awful. And it's reputation was flooding my mind. BUT, BUT then my dear friend Natsumi (who is a 9th grader) comes to me right at the beginning of lunch and gives me a note. I thank her and start to put it into my pocket to read later. She says, "Read it now!" which I'm surprised about because she's never asked me to read her notes in front of her before. Hmm...okay. Really happy to have received her letter and smiling big, I unfold her cute stationary, neatly folded into the shape of a t-shirt-- only to find this dismaying message:

To Mya
Good Morning.

Today's lunch has natto. Did you know that? You said "I have never eaten natto". So, I think you should try to eat natto!! I hope you'll like natto.

See you again
From Natsumi

After laughing and putting up a fight, saying, "Eh...I don't think I can...." I receive a "Ganbatte" ("Do your best.") in return. So, for the sake of proving to Natsumi that I'm really her friend and that I trust her, and for the sake of being a risk-taker, I commit (maybe??) to trying the natto. With Natsumi's open letter staring up at me from the left side of my lunch tray, and with my water bottle poised for chugging with a quick grab of my right hand, I enlist "how-to-eat-natto" advice from Ishihara Sensei, who is sitting next to me. どうすればいいんですか？ He explains while demonstrating: topping the beans with mustard and soy sauce, then mixing them into a warm, sticky, taffy/spider web mess. I should grab some natto and some rice and eat them together in one bite. He gives me grace,　むりしないで-- Don't force yourself...it's okay if you don't eat it. But...other teachers are commenting...and I told Natsumi I'd try..and there are many pairs of eyes on me-- including Okada Sensei, who had already finished his lunch and returned to the staff room, but then reappeared in the lunch room several minutes later for the sole purpose of watching me eat natto-- and my face getting hot with embarrassment and worry, I go for it. It seems impossible to chew...impossible to swallow...like a spider web in my mouth. I chug the water and try to make my face not so contorted. I never want to eat it again, but I'm glad that from now on when people ask me if I've eaten natto, I can affirm, 食べたことある.

Referring to yesterday, today I wrote:

"It was the first time I've been to Minakami."

Does this sentence make sense? Is it grammatically correct? I honestly don't know. What the heck has happened to my brain?! Living in an environment where I don't hear much advanced (HA! "advanced"!), normal, or correct English on a daily basis-- but rather awkward, unnatural, textbook English-- and where, in order to be understood, I have to use predominately simplified and/or textbook English myself, I have started to (or maybe I'm far beyond "started to") lose my ear for which English words and phrases sound correct and normal. Sometimes I catch myself-- or worse yet, I don't catch myself, but my friends do-- uttering awkward or badly arranged English. This is shocking!...to forget your own native language...and in such a short amount of time, too! I'm going around saying things like, "We came by car" (translation: "We drove"), "It became dark" (translation: "It got dark"), and other such nonsense. It's embarrassing! BUT then, today my symptoms became even worse. I wrote the above sentence in a student's notebook, and I thought maybe it wasn't right...so I re-read it...and again...and out loud...and tried to think of alternatives...then re-read it...and with my head in my hands, I concluded that I had no idea one way or the other whether or not this sentence is okay!!!! OhMyGosh! "I'm going crazy", I said to myself. I have lost the ability to filter native English. This is unbelievable.

Another page from my school journal

1/6/10
3:28 and 57 seconds p.m.

Happiest moment of my day!!! Takei Sensei said, "Mya, さよなら (sayonara)" when leaving. I am the only one he greeted by name or specific comment even though other teachers were close by. :) (Life as a foreigner is soooo strange, ね?! I can't believe how happy such an interaction can make me.)

Re-entry into Japanese Life, part 2

Upon my re-entry into Japanese school life I was INSTANTLY bombarded with the awkwardness, intensified from it's initial shock because I wasn't expecting it at all this time...I wasn't on guard-- anticipating culture shock at every turn like when I first came here. How quickly I had forgotten! For two weeks (while home for break) there was no hint of awkwardness or internal wrestling regarding how to deal with it, how to respond. Then-- like a time-travel instant transplantation, I'm right back in it! Shohei not even looking up to make eye contact when I walk in to take my seat across from him, where our faces will be 4 1/2 feet apart for the next 7 hours-- let alone saying "Hi" or "How was your trip?" Later came the uncomfortable uncertainty of wanting to go to lunch but feeling trapped because it seems like I should say something-- like, "I'm going to get lunch"...and, best case scenario (i.e. most naturally me), "Do you want me to bring you anything?" But, but no one does that, so then the other option-- which is probably (apparently!) not uncomfortable for anyone but me-- is to leave without a word. After several minutes of considering...and killing time...hoping everyone else will just leave before me-- and even though that will present an additional awkward situation itself, it will be more manageable than the current situation-- so that I won't have to make either choice, I just leave in silence. (Oh! Life is too short for me to spend such exhaustive time on such inconsequential matters.)

Re-entry into Japanese Life, part 1

Re-entry into Japanese life, after having spent two weeks on vacation in Mexico and the States, is challenging. Shocking even. I don't have much time now, so I will just briefly share a few of the shocking expriences: This week was the first time this winter I had to scrape ice-- yes, I said ice-- off of my bike seat before riding to work. And this week was the first time this winter that I wore long johns to work. Am I a lumberjack?, you may ask. No, no I'm not. I'm a teacher. This week was also the first time this winter I recall seeing Takei Sensei wearing a full length, insulated winter coat. He was not snowboarding in the mountains. He was not coaching a soccer game in a snow storm. He was making copies...in the copy room.

From my school journal

Today in my school journal I wrote, "I feign boredom. Even though I am excited to see people." This is because people here generally don't greet each other warmly on a daily basis...so I will seem.....what?? weird? over the top? needy? different?-- if I show my honest happiness at seeing my co-workers. 'Why does it matter, though?', I thought. I am determined to be authentic with people even though its expression will be noticeably different than everyone else-- which is looked upon unfavorably in this culture-- because despite being different I don't think it could legitimately be categorized as offensive. It might be categorized as weird...but I'm hoping just for "different"...for "pleasantly surprising"...for Japanese people to know that I really am happy to see them, that they are important-- even if no one else lets them know that.