From my school journal

Today in my school journal I wrote, "I feign boredom. Even though I am excited to see people." This is because people here generally don't greet each other warmly on a daily basis...so I will seem.....what?? weird? over the top? needy? different?-- if I show my honest happiness at seeing my co-workers. 'Why does it matter, though?', I thought. I am determined to be authentic with people even though its expression will be noticeably different than everyone else-- which is looked upon unfavorably in this culture-- because despite being different I don't think it could legitimately be categorized as offensive. It might be categorized as weird...but I'm hoping just for "different"...for "pleasantly surprising"...for Japanese people to know that I really am happy to see them, that they are important-- even if no one else lets them know that.