Rules Rule Life in Japan

The rules in this country are truly hard to believe-- hard to believe what they are and how many there are. It's like the whole country (well, maybe mostly jr. high.....but not only jr. high!) is an altar boy boarding school. I'm not exaggerating. I mean if it wasn't my real life, I would not believe it. If I was reading this blog instead of writing it, I would definitely think it was just ridiculous. BUT, I hope that you will believe what you read, because it's true-- even though it's ridiculous.

Today I received the "Seasonal Change of Uniform" notice on my desk. Starting today, students are allowed to start transitioning from their winter uniforms to their spring/summer uniforms. This means that they can wear short sleeves if they want to, and girls don't have to wear their vests. This transition must be completed by June 13, meaning that after that date girls won't be allowed to wear vests anymore, and no one will be allowed to wear long sleeves. Even if we have cold weather. We've already had several days of weather in the high 70s, but no one was allowed to wear short sleeves because it wasn't one-week-before-June (i.e. May 23) yet. The acceptable uniforms are dictated by the typical weather patterns of the calendar, without regard for the actual weather conditions. Who thinks this makes sense? [NOTE: Short sleeve shirts and vests cannot be worn together. Vests are only permitted to be worn over long sleeve shirts.]

Other school rules include:
-No plucking or trimming your eyebrows. (This doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at school...It means you're not allowed to pluck or trim them at all-- not even at home.)
-Keep your fingernails clipped short. (Or else, you will be made to go to the staff room and clip them over the trash can before you can go back to class.)
-Girls whose hair is longer than shoulder-length must tie it back with an elastic-- or two, but not three-- that is either brown, black, or navy blue.
-No clipping your hair in the front.
-No perming or straightening your hair.
-No colored socks-- only white.
-During cold weather-- which according to the school calendar is Sept. 26-May 23-- if you wear a coat, gloves, or a scarf, they must be navy blue, black, gray, brown, or white.
-No bringing backpacks into the staff room.
-No wearing sports team uniforms in the staff room.
-Girls may not wear pants, except for when wearing sports uniforms.
-Boys must button their Mandarin collar suit jackets up all the way to the top button (or not wear them at all). If you take your jacket off, you must also take your sweater off because sweaters are not allowed to be seen, even though they're allowed to be worn.
-P.E. uniform jackets must be zipped up all the way to the top (or not worn at all).
-No going into any classroom other than your own.
-No spending the night at a friend's house.
-No going to an arcade without parent supervision.
-No stickers or key chains on school bags or gym bags.
-No food of any kind is allowed to be brought to school. (You must persevere through the hunger (and pay attention in class) for the approximately 5 hours between when you eat breakfast around 7 or 8, have morning tennis, soccer, baseball, or volleyball practice...maybe have P.E. and when you eat lunch at 12:55.)
-Mints are also strictly forbidden.
-Of course, no make-up, nail polish, or pierced ears.
-Even for teachers, there isn't supposed to be eating at school, other than lunch...Unless the food was given to you as a present from another staff member. [This loophole makes the whole rule even more incomprehensible.] **CONFESSION: I have actually snuck a Tupperware container of peanut butter toast into the bathroom at school and eaten it in the stall because I couldn't last the 6 hours between breakfast and lunch. WHAAAT?! Who does this?? This is my real life. This is my real life? This is my real life! OHmyGOSH. I'm always wishing that someone would bring back peanut butter toast for a staff room present.

I think there are many dozen more school rules, but many of them have become so commonplace to me now that I can't even remember them. OH! I almost forgot...There is a new school rule this year: Girls are not allowed to wear short socks. Of all the rules, this one brought the biggest surprise recently. I thought we already had every conceivable rule, but some teachers managed to think up another one! Aah, one more...this is an elementary school rule: (Are you ready for this?! I can almost not even write it without laughing out loud at the absurdity of it.) No putting your hands in your pockets. (If you do, teachers may use packing tape to seal your pockets shut.)

Outside of school there are innumerable societal expectations that regulate everyone's lives, even though they may not be written.
-Be quiet on trains.
-No eating or drinking on trains.
-No eating or drinking while walking.
-Water is mainly for washing, not drinking. You are allowed to drink water, but you will get questions and strange looks. And if you order it at Starbucks, they will give you a 2 oz. shot of water, which you will have already drunk by the time you walk to your table.
-At staff dinner parties and other official functions, there is to be no drinking before the official "kampai" (cheers). Even if you're thirsty and there is a beverage in front of you, you may not take a sip.
-Women should not sit cross-legged when sitting on the floor in restaurants or homes. Sit in seiza. **NOTE from Wikipedia: "Those unfamiliar with seiza will likely find that maintaining it for more than a minute or two tends to lead to loss of circulation, with the accompanying 'pins and needles' feeling, followed by painful burning sensations, and then eventually complete numbness in the legs." Awesome.
-Wearing sunglasses is really, really unusual, so if you wear them, you will definitely get lots of comments about how cool you are and how you look like a Hollywood star. You will have to explain again and again and again how light-colored eyes are more sensitive to the sun...and contort your face to demonstrate how if you're not wearing sunglasses you have to squint when it's bright outside. All of this is just embarrassing. Especially because it's really frowned upon in this culture to draw attention to yourself. (As though you're wearing sunglasses in an attempt to draw attention to yourself and make everyone think you're ultra cool!) ;D

It's hard for me to recall all the rules and expectations that used to be news to me but now just seem normal. ;D The rules in Japan that make me the most crazy are the post office rules. They require an entry of their own. Stay tuned...

English is hard.

To get my education endorsement in ESL during college I had to take Structure and Development of the English Language. I was somewhat interested in and very mind-boggled by the details of English grammar. Now that I'm actually working as an English teacher for people learning English as a foreign language, I realize more and more how complicated some parts of English are. Students, Japanese English teachers, and friends ask me all kinds of questions that I have no idea about...because I've never thought about them...because as native speakers we just use grammar without thinking about it. Even if I do know what's correct and why, it's really hard to clearly explain in simple English the difference in how to use "Who smokes in class?" and "Who smokes in the class?" How about this...why is it okay to say, "People from all over the world...", but not okay to say, "People in all over the world..."?? Is there a difference in how we use, "She couldn't have said that," and "She can't have said that"? Though there's only one small word different, there is a very big difference in the meanings of, "I met her at college", and "I met her at the college". aaah! I actually feel really bad for people learning English.

The News

I always have so many things I want to write about...but not enough time or energy. Lately I've been putting off writing, because I think people are expecting me to say something about the earthquake and everything that ensued-- and is continuing-- but I don't have much to say, really. I mean, I could describe situations that I was in as a result of the earthquake, but they don't seem that interesting to write about. And I don't really know what's going on up north. BUT I have heard conditions are still really, really awful..."worse than what you see on the news"...and that many evacuation centers are being run by the Yakuza (Japanese mafia) who are confiscating donated items and then trying to sell them to victims at astronomical prices. Please continue to pray for Japan and find ways to help the victims. [See CRASH and Asian Access.] Other than these bits of info, the other thing that really stands out to me now about this experience is that I've lost almost all trust in the American media. I don't trust the Japanese government to report the truth either. It's a scary feeling to NEED accurate, potentially life-saving, information and not be able to find it anywhere or know it if you have found it. In the most uncertain days of the aftermath I didn't know who I could believe. Are there any trustworthy, non-hyped, non-secretive media sources??!!