RE: Another page from my school journal

Thinking back to my post from January 21st, it's quite astounding to realize the resilience of the human spirit. We often hear people who've recently returned from missions trips and relief trips say that when they've given basic items and simple toys to people in destitute situations, the recipients are overjoyed as though they were receiving something far greater than what they actually did receive. It seems to me that going without something for awhile diminishes the expectation for it-- and thus the disappointment at not having it, and correspondingly increases the joy when (if) that thing is received. A year and a half ago when I worked in America, it wouldn't have been thrilling and journal-worthy to have a colleague call me by name and say bye to me before going home at the end of the day. BUT, now, it's one of my best memories of my time in Japan! I have come to expect people to ignore me and pass me in silence at school. So, Takei Sensei's very unexpected good-bye was impacting and memorable. Wow! It's pretty amazing how God has made us like this...adaptable, able to adjust as needed to survive!

I ate this.

I meant to post this pic like a month ago! This is natto. Natto is fermented soybeans. In general, Japanese people LOVE natto. WHAAAT?! It reeks like nail polish remover poured over moldy bread. Sick! Seriously, as soon as I opened the door to the staff lunch room the day this was served for school lunch, the fumes hit me in the face. Having successfully avoided eating natto for the first year and seven months that I was in Japan, I counted myself lucky and strategic. But then, when it was served for lunch I figured this was the best time to try it if I ever was going to. And since it's such a well-liked food amongst Japanese people and such an infamously detested food amongst foreign people in Japan, I figured I should try it once. School lunch is the best time for me to try any food I'm hesitant about because I have an audience who encourages and who praises excessively if I successfully down a "very Japanese" food. Plus, it's already paid for, so I'm not losing any money if I don't finish it. Yet, I still thought: NO! I can't eat natto. It's too awful. And it's reputation was flooding my mind. BUT, BUT then my dear friend Natsumi (who is a 9th grader) comes to me right at the beginning of lunch and gives me a note. I thank her and start to put it into my pocket to read later. She says, "Read it now!" which I'm surprised about because she's never asked me to read her notes in front of her before. Hmm...okay. Really happy to have received her letter and smiling big, I unfold her cute stationary, neatly folded into the shape of a t-shirt-- only to find this dismaying message:

To Mya
Good Morning.

Today's lunch has natto. Did you know that? You said "I have never eaten natto". So, I think you should try to eat natto!! I hope you'll like natto.

See you again
From Natsumi

After laughing and putting up a fight, saying, "Eh...I don't think I can...." I receive a "Ganbatte" ("Do your best.") in return. So, for the sake of proving to Natsumi that I'm really her friend and that I trust her, and for the sake of being a risk-taker, I commit (maybe??) to trying the natto. With Natsumi's open letter staring up at me from the left side of my lunch tray, and with my water bottle poised for chugging with a quick grab of my right hand, I enlist "how-to-eat-natto" advice from Ishihara Sensei, who is sitting next to me. どうすればいいんですか？ He explains while demonstrating: topping the beans with mustard and soy sauce, then mixing them into a warm, sticky, taffy/spider web mess. I should grab some natto and some rice and eat them together in one bite. He gives me grace,　むりしないで-- Don't force yourself...it's okay if you don't eat it. But...other teachers are commenting...and I told Natsumi I'd try..and there are many pairs of eyes on me-- including Okada Sensei, who had already finished his lunch and returned to the staff room, but then reappeared in the lunch room several minutes later for the sole purpose of watching me eat natto-- and my face getting hot with embarrassment and worry, I go for it. It seems impossible to chew...impossible to swallow...like a spider web in my mouth. I chug the water and try to make my face not so contorted. I never want to eat it again, but I'm glad that from now on when people ask me if I've eaten natto, I can affirm, 食べたことある.

Referring to yesterday, today I wrote:

"It was the first time I've been to Minakami."

Does this sentence make sense? Is it grammatically correct? I honestly don't know. What the heck has happened to my brain?! Living in an environment where I don't hear much advanced (HA! "advanced"!), normal, or correct English on a daily basis-- but rather awkward, unnatural, textbook English-- and where, in order to be understood, I have to use predominately simplified and/or textbook English myself, I have started to (or maybe I'm far beyond "started to") lose my ear for which English words and phrases sound correct and normal. Sometimes I catch myself-- or worse yet, I don't catch myself, but my friends do-- uttering awkward or badly arranged English. This is shocking!...to forget your own native language...and in such a short amount of time, too! I'm going around saying things like, "We came by car" (translation: "We drove"), "It became dark" (translation: "It got dark"), and other such nonsense. It's embarrassing! BUT then, today my symptoms became even worse. I wrote the above sentence in a student's notebook, and I thought maybe it wasn't right...so I re-read it...and again...and out loud...and tried to think of alternatives...then re-read it...and with my head in my hands, I concluded that I had no idea one way or the other whether or not this sentence is okay!!!! OhMyGosh! "I'm going crazy", I said to myself. I have lost the ability to filter native English. This is unbelievable.