Dear Teachers

I wrote this letter at school one day a couple months ago.

November 26th, 2008

Dear Teachers,
Here's what I want you to know:
(and if you gave me the trademark-of-Japanese-life opportunity to give a speech, and if I was in fact able to leap the language barrier [and, OF COURSE, the cultural politeness barrier, which-- honestly-- would require me to be an Olympian pole vaulter] and say what I really mean, this is what I'd tell you...)

I think it's weird that you don't say "hi" when you see me for the first time in a day-- that you walk right past without acknowledging me. I think it's weird that you seem to enjoy talking to me and you will talk and laugh with me throughout the day one day and then not say anything to me the next. I don't understand why you don't ask me questions...like "How was your weekend?" (or "When is your birthday?") I just can't read you. What do you think of me, I wonder... Do you think I'm loud and so you don't want to talk to me because I might draw attention with my loud voice (by Japanese standards) and laugh (which, I admit, is loud by any standards)? Do I annoy you? Do you really not ask each other these questions either? Because that's how it seems, but that seems unbelievable!

Approximately a month after writing this letter (which, really, was brewing in me for soo long), I realized and found out some things that are helpful. 1. It occurred to me one day how inadequate the Japanese translation for "How are you?" is. "Genki desu ka?" literally means, "Are you well/healthy/energetic?" So it's a yes or no question. It doesn't avail anyone the opportunity to say how they really are. When I ask a Japanese person "O-genki desu ka?" I really mean, 'Are you enjoying today? Is everything okay with your family? Do you have a busy week? Is there something you're excited about? Sad about? What's new?' but I get merely a 'yes' or 'no' and sometimes not even that...about a third of the time I get only a 'thank you for asking'. 2. I told my friend, Shiyo, the same thing I said in the letter. She went to college in the States for a semester, so she knows some about American social culture. And she is an open-minded person, so I figured she could handle it and not be offended. She said, "We don't have such a culture" [to ask "How are you?"]. She continued, "We say 'good morning', but we don't ask each other how we're doing." (This confirmed what I thought to be true...because I never hear anyone asking each other...yet it just seemed unfathomable, so I thought I just must not understand those conversations...like maybe they were asking each other in a different way, using words I don't know.) I further explained to her that it's really strange to me that when I ask "How are you?" in English, people usually just say "fine" and nothing more-- which is what you'd typically say to someone you really don't want to talk to. "When you ask a Japanese person how they are, they don't know what to say", she explained. Basically she said that since they don't ask each other that question, they have no repertoire of responses-- especially in English. These 2 things helped me feel much relieved about this daily issue. Yet, though I now know I'm not being singled out to be ignored, I still feel isolated when the people by whom I'm surrounded daily don't engage me in intentional conversation. It's so different. This is culture shock.