Re-entry into Japanese Life, part 2

Upon my re-entry into Japanese school life I was INSTANTLY bombarded with the awkwardness, intensified from it's initial shock because I wasn't expecting it at all this time...I wasn't on guard-- anticipating culture shock at every turn like when I first came here. How quickly I had forgotten! For two weeks (while home for break) there was no hint of awkwardness or internal wrestling regarding how to deal with it, how to respond. Then-- like a time-travel instant transplantation, I'm right back in it! Shohei not even looking up to make eye contact when I walk in to take my seat across from him, where our faces will be 4 1/2 feet apart for the next 7 hours-- let alone saying "Hi" or "How was your trip?" Later came the uncomfortable uncertainty of wanting to go to lunch but feeling trapped because it seems like I should say something-- like, "I'm going to get lunch"...and, best case scenario (i.e. most naturally me), "Do you want me to bring you anything?" But, but no one does that, so then the other option-- which is probably (apparently!) not uncomfortable for anyone but me-- is to leave without a word. After several minutes of considering...and killing time...hoping everyone else will just leave before me-- and even though that will present an additional awkward situation itself, it will be more manageable than the current situation-- so that I won't have to make either choice, I just leave in silence. (Oh! Life is too short for me to spend such exhaustive time on such inconsequential matters.)

Re-entry into Japanese Life, part 1

Re-entry into Japanese life, after having spent two weeks on vacation in Mexico and the States, is challenging. Shocking even. I don't have much time now, so I will just briefly share a few of the shocking expriences: This week was the first time this winter I had to scrape ice-- yes, I said ice-- off of my bike seat before riding to work. And this week was the first time this winter that I wore long johns to work. Am I a lumberjack?, you may ask. No, no I'm not. I'm a teacher. This week was also the first time this winter I recall seeing Takei Sensei wearing a full length, insulated winter coat. He was not snowboarding in the mountains. He was not coaching a soccer game in a snow storm. He was making copies...in the copy room.

From my school journal

Today in my school journal I wrote, "I feign boredom. Even though I am excited to see people." This is because people here generally don't greet each other warmly on a daily basis...so I will seem.....what?? weird? over the top? needy? different?-- if I show my honest happiness at seeing my co-workers. 'Why does it matter, though?', I thought. I am determined to be authentic with people even though its expression will be noticeably different than everyone else-- which is looked upon unfavorably in this culture-- because despite being different I don't think it could legitimately be categorized as offensive. It might be categorized as weird...but I'm hoping just for "different"...for "pleasantly surprising"...for Japanese people to know that I really am happy to see them, that they are important-- even if no one else lets them know that.